'Do Not Disturb' Me Please
When Friday comes I am drained. I am tired and I do not want to be bothered. I know that I am not the only person who feels like this (you too or naw?) Even more so as a clinician I find myself mentally drained from the week. Mental exhaustion sometimes can be far worse than physical exhaustion, and on Friday I feel it full force. When I was working at as a child fatality review prevention specialist during the week and as a social worker at a crisis stabilization hospital on the weekends I really felt it. I would get home and want to speak to no one. Entertaining conversations with people became too taxing after leaving a place where I spent 8 hrs unpacking trauma filled with tears, anger and hurt.
So I learned that the only way I was going to function was if I set some clear boundaries for myself. And because work is necessary I decided that Friday nights were mine. As social workers, counselors, therapist or whatever you want to be called it is important to find a way to decompress. The cases can be overwhelming, the days can seem like they are running together and the desire to help sometimes seems bigger than your abilities, so it is so imperative that you take care of yourself.
Here is what I do:
1. Use the “Do Not Disturb” feature- it’s your best friend. When I need to block out outside noise I literally block out incoming calls. It’s amazing! At first my friends would say things like, “ is something wrong with your phone because it kept going to voicemail” (LOL). I finally had to let them know, “nope its on purpose I needed a day.” It is okay to let people know that you need a moment and that you do not have the mental capacity to engage at the moment, and know that is okay.
2. Unwind immediately- when I walk in the door I take a moment (or two or hr whatever I need) to just be still. I may lay down, scroll IG, but whatever it is that I do it does not include thinking, reacting or intervening in anything. I find something that requires nothing, and I mean nothing. I do it immediately because there is something about coming in the door that gives you a feeling of relief, so take a moment to take it in.
3. Laugh a little- turning on the tv and getting lost in a show or movie can be just what you need. It takes your mind off of everything else. I have some friends who indulge in reality tvs as a way to relax, they say it helps them not to think about their own problems. I prefer to get lost in one of my favorite shows that I have probably seen 1000x.
4. Take a nap- there’s so much power in napping. It helps to energize and recharge you. I enjoy a good nap especially after work. Sometimes I don’t play on napping and I promise those unexpected naps are better than anything I have ever experienced.
5. Spend time with your loved ones- Another thing that I find joy in with spending time with my daughter at the end of the week. We both are super busy during the week so when Friday comes we know there are no expectations because we have nowhere to be. At least twice a week we do something for just us, and it is just for us to bond and relax. I would like to think she appreciates it, but only time will tell.
6. Leave it alone-Try your hardest to leave work at work. Do not bring it home, whether it is actual work or mentally. I know it can be hard to separate the two, but it is a must. If I am honest I struggle with this from time to time because some of the cases are hard, but you have to find a way to compartmentalize.
The point is to find something that you find calming and do that. Taking care of people is mentally draining and if you’re not careful it will deplete you.
